The Knit Pick Manual

R.I.P. David Carradine 1936-2009




Mr. Carradine will not receive FOUNDER status, but we can elevate him to the level of Distinguished Human.

Read more about him on his MAHALO.COM page
...

A personal note:
Long before Kill Bill, when my parents attended high society dinners, or whatever investment bankers and their wives do on Friday and Saturday nights, basic cable would function as my babysitter. Nanny programing like X-Files, Renegade, Tales From the Crypt, and Kung Fu The Legend Continues. They of course were cheaper than a real person and didn't invite their boyfriends over to steal my parent's beer.

Even though most of the old Kung Fu episode's have since been purged from my memory to make room for more important things. I'll never forget the time David Carradine's character eluded some bad guys by climbing a perfectly flat wall using his bare hands. It was an impressive feat, even for a Kung Fu master. Every other episode it seemed like he just pummeled henchmen with a walking stick.

KNIT'S PICKS: COSMOS AND FOUNDING FATHER CARL SAGAN


The other day I tried to imagine the edge of space and the sack inside my skull ruptured.

What's outside the visible galaxies? Is space inside of itself? Does it overlap? What the hell is the purpose of the universe? What is dark matter?

These questions might not perturb anyone else, but to me, they form my fundamental understanding of the nature of life.

Some less-curious individuals might brush them off or give them a name, like God, but that attitude only helps to line the pockets of celibate men who read fairy tales.

Fortunately, for the human race, some very curious scientists have spent their lives's finding clues to this cosmogonic riddle.

Let me introduce the late great Carl Sagan.

You might know his name. Although I gather if you knew what he was about the world would be a much different place.

A visionary, astronomer, astrochemist, author, and human from the planet Earth, Carl Sagan produced one of the greatest series ever in television history, COSMOS.

In it, he tried to open ignorant eyes to the wonders of space and time. A thoughtful production that is still the most widely watched PBS series of all time. Sadly, it didn't take with many viewers, as evident by the construction of new creationist museums and the cars I see in church parking lots on Sundays.

Yet, if there is one thing I learned for COSMOS. It is that time is on the side of the wise man. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not 5 years from now, but one day we'll realize we are all on this tiny spinning blue life raft together and we need every one's talents to figure out where it's going to land.

THE KNIT PICK MANUAL PROUDLY PRESENTS... COSMOS


Link to COSMOS' main page on HULU.COM
I didn't feel like embedding all 13 episodes from season 1 so...









PEOPLE SKILLS: HEIGHT


Over millions of years of evolution humans have grown fundamentally upwards.

The average American man is 5'9 and the average American woman is 5'4. Any height greater than those averages is considered "tall." Being taller has many advantages.

For starters, tall people can reach really high things on top shelves or change light bulbs without using chairs, ladders, or other such apparatuses. A tall person's arms also come in handy when reaching things that have fallen behind couches or under automobiles.


In addition, during religious festivities, height capable people use their stretching ability to place very important paper mache stars on the top of indoor conifer saplings, known as Christmas trees.













They also use less steps to cross the same distances as shorter people.
More than that, the vertically gifted can see over people, which comes in handy at concerts, impromptu street performances, or when they want to know what's holding up a line.







Photographers also like tall students to stand in the back row of class pictures, allowing them to be seen without the smaller students having to crouch or kneel. Likely saving school systems tens, if not, hundreds of dollars in chair and bleacher costs.

In some circles, it is rumored that male humans of above average height have larger genitals. Although, this cannot be confirmed or denied, the theory assumes that people's extremities are proportional to their bodies. Oddly enough, height seems to have little to no effect on the size of female mammaries. This on the other hand, is well documented in the cases of the many tall and very flat chested super models who wander the runways of Paris, Milan, and New York.




One of the downsides to being tall appears to be finding appropriate clothing. The large surface area their bodies require more fabric to cover. As well as the inherited range of body types and masses. A phenomenon that lead to the advent of the Gilbert's Big and Tall clothing store.





Yet having height does have disadvantages. Airline seats can be too small, doorways pose serious threats for head injuries, and adolescence can be a particularly difficult and awkward stage of life.








Here are some other facts about tall people from grumpychimp.com


1. Tall People Earn More

A 2004 study revealed that every inch adds about $789 per year in earnings.

2. They Are Smarter

Princeton economists published a 2006 study identifying why tall people make more money. The conclusion, they're smarter than you.

"As early as age 3 -- before schooling has had a chance to play a role -- and throughout childhood, taller children perform significantly better on cognitive tests,"

"As adults, taller individuals are more likely to select into higher-paying occupations that require more advanced verbal and numerical skills and greater intelligence, for which they earn handsome rewards."

They also state that nutrition can play a role in both height and intelligence. Therefore, better nourished babies end up taller and smarter.

3. Tall People are More Attractive

A study at the University of Gdansk in northern Poland concluded that the ideal height of an attractive woman was 5'9 and 6'2 for a man.

4. Tall People are Leaders

Only a handful of presidents have been shorter than average. In fact, the last time it happened was in 1896 with William McKinley who stood 5 feet 7 inches tall. The tallest presidents have been Abraham Lincoln at 6'4, Lyndon Johnson, Bill Clinton, Thomas Jefferson, and Franklin Roosevelt. The average CEO of fortune 500 companies is just a smidge under 6'.

5. They are Better Athletes

The average NBA player is about 6'7, NFL is over 6'1, MLB is over 6'1, NHL is 6'1 and tennis about 6'1.

6. Women Prefer Tall Men

A recent study shows that taller men are less likely to be bachelors and are more likely to have children. In fact, men with children are 1.2 inches taller than childless men. The reason behind this? Women view tall men as healthier and more likely to protect and provide.

GOOD PUNK: DONOVAN

INJUSTICE GANG: PETITION LINKS


It seems strange to me, but genocide prevention is hard.




Dr. Michael Doyle eats his salad with gloves. Should you?
















Get Habitat for Humanity its money back




George Clooney loves him some UN Peacekeepers. You should too.




Because no one actually needs nuclear weapons.







It's about high time women got paid for making life tolerable at the office.

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